


You Matter

by mikeymagee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 03:57:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17635583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeymagee/pseuds/mikeymagee
Summary: In the aftermath of what happened on Crait, Finn can't seem to find sleep.





	You Matter

There were times when Finn awoke in a cold sweat, his heart beating out of his chest, and his mind racing to find answers to a question he hadn’t known he asked. In those moments, he felt lost, unsure...even angry. 

 

The Resistance had fallen, and all that was left were the few survivors, Rey, Poe, Rose, and himself. There wasn’t any place they could hide that the First Order couldn’t find. There wasn’t any maneuver they could come up with that the Order could not counter. 

 

And in moments like those, Finn found himself wishing there was more he could do. 

 

The team had found some hole on a desert planet on the outskirts of the outer rim. There would be safe...for now. But the First Order was always closing in fast. Each night someone would take watch while the others slept. This night, it was Poe’s turn.

 

“Get some rest, we’ll need you at your best the next day,” Poe said. Poe Dameron was always looking out for others, Finn especially. And Finn wanted nothing more than to rest his head, and try and forget about DJ and the Walkers and the First Order, and the Stormtroopers and all that had transpired days before. But that was a quest that proved fruitless. Those events were ironed onto his skin like melted steel. There was just no getting away from them. 

 

Finn awoke with Rose next to him, her chin nuzzled against his chest. And Rey’s arm was entangled in his. He was wedged between two people who cared more for him than anything else. He was a lucky guy. 

 

But why didn’t he feel that way? 

 

In the distance, far from the opened mouth of the cave, Poe Dameron sat vigil and silent. 

 

Finn untangled his arms from Rey’s, gently slipped from Rose’s grasp, and made his way to Poe’s side. 

 

“You see anything suspicious?” Finn asked, tapping his hand on Poe’s shoulder. 

 

Poe chuckled, “You mean besides my buddy Finn, standing next to me when he needs to be sleeping and regaining his strength?” 

 

Finn just rolled his eyes, “You know, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine.”

 

“Yeah, so fine that you thought it’d be a great idea to run a suicide mission by yourself.”

 

Finn winced. Perhaps his actions on Crait was foolhardy, but he couldn’t just stand by a do nothing. “You would have done the same thing.” 

 

Poe Dameron rolled his eyes, “Yeah, but  _ I’m _ an idiot.  _ You’re _ not. That’s the difference.”

 

The two sat in silence and watched as the sand dunes bobbed and weaved in the cold night. This place reminded Finn of Jakku, and he hated it more and more. Perhaps that’s why his dreams turned sour each night he tried to rest his eyes. 

 

“So, why’d you do it?” Poe asked, breaking the silence as easily as he breaking down glass. 

 

“What d’you mean?” 

 

“Why,” Poe repeated, “Did you try to sacrifice yourself back on Crait?”

 

Poe always had this blunt way of asking for information. No frills. No jokes. Just straight to the point, and it always made Finn uneasy. 

 

“I wanted to do my part to protect the Resistance,” Finn said finally. 

 

“Really?” Poe outstretched his arms and turned, looking every which way. “Look around Finn, there isn’t much to protect at the moment.” 

 

Finn’s face grew red. “Well, that may be, but-”

 

“Finn, I’m gonna tell you something that you’ve probably never heard before. But I need you to hear it, and I need you to remember it, okay?”

 

“Poe, I-”

 

“Finn,” Poe interrupted, “Listen. You matter.” Poe’s eyes were fixed and steady. Glowing pools of warmth in a galaxy that had known so little. “You matter. Your life matters. You matter to me, and Rey, and Rose and everyone else.”

 

Finn nodded, “Yeah, but-”

 

“And I can’t have you running off like some hotshot, trying to get yourself killed. You mean too much to me for that. Too much to all of us.”

 

That was a first. Life in the First Order was always about duty. Soldiers were wired to place the whole before the singular, and even though Finn had left that life behind, there were still remnants of the FO that lingered. 

 

Poe grabbed Finn’s shoulder and smiled, “Don’t forget that, okay? Please. For all of our sakes.”

 

Those were words Finn had never heard before. But...perhaps it was worth believing.

“Can you promise me you won’t do anything like that again?” And in Poe’s eyes, there lay a silent pleading. A gentle question that Finn did not have the heart to deny. 

 

“Yeah,” Finn said, “I promise.”


End file.
